Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Hey did I ever tell you... I'm going to Thailand?

I'm not even sure what to write about this week.  We've begun to fall into the regular schedule, and seriously it kinda feels like I just barely wrote to you!  This week we have been enriched by speakers, we've taught lessons to our investigators... and it's amazing how much we're able to communicate with them.  It's kinda funny... we've decided that being here at the MTC at least, but probably just being a missionary in general is like being in Tangled... "this is the BEST DAY EVER!!!!... I can't believe I did this.  I have to go back!)  Not that I'm thinking of going back at all :) because that would not be true at all.  Buuuuuut.  there are so many ups and downs, but the Lord sustains you through each and every day!  Our investigators are awesome.  In some ways they are opposites... one of them practically teaches himself, and one of them has greater needs and less understanding!  It's really interesting, and Sister Ference and I are trying with all that we've got to teach them!!  Of course... every day at the end of the day I realize there is so much I can do better... in how I use my time, in getting rid of my silly silly pride.  In so many things... but each day I'm grateful for the Atonement.  I can kneel down and talk to Heavenly Father, and He can help me with those things that I do that are less than great... and that I feel like I can't always improve on my own.  I'm SO grateful for the Atonement.  Haha... sometimes I just wish I could be a perfect vessel... that I could be a person without having to think about myself, without thinking about what anyone else thinks of me... without thinking about anything at all!  I'm working on it :) but I also realize that Heavenly Father needs me to be myself, and He knows how to work with imperfection!  Which is definitely good for me!  I dunno.  I'm not sure what to tell you about this week!  It was good... and every day I'm learning and trying to be a better missionary, and praying and working, and then I try again the next day!
 
This Sunday Sister Ference and I were called as Sister Training Leaders for our Zone!  Our Zone just got significantly smaller this week because our phii thais (older thais) LEFT US! :) They are in THAILAND now!!!  So Sister Ference and I are called to serve 2 companionships in the room next to us, and two sisters in our room!  Hopefully we can do it!  We don't have a lot of responsibilities exactly... but we do have to look out for each sister!  And I'm praying for more love than I've ever had before, because I want it all to come out of my heart!  Sometimes I feel like my heart is the most stubborn part of me :)  Buuuuuut.  Hopefully the girls know that we're sincerely trying to serve them!  Annnnd I'm sure we'll have to pray for courage if we ever have to correct anyone!  I know that should especially be done out of love too!!!  I don't know :)  Sorry family, sometimes I just don't have a lot to say!  Apparently this is one of those days!  But really really this week has been good!  I'm a third of the way done with my MTC time!  And I have so much more to learn :) but I'm also anxious to get to Thailand!  I had a moment this week where I was like... hang on... I'm going to Thailand on a mission.  It's craaaaazy to think that that's really really happening.  I'm really really giving up my schooling, my everything for the Lord right now, to go to another country and teach His children!  This is SO not something I ever exactly could imagine happening.  But I also know... that I am so BEYOND blessed to have this opportunity!  I'm scared of wasting it, and not realizing what's happening... and not giving my all!  Buuuuuut.  I'm trying.  And I'm trusting the Lord that this is what He would have me do!  Again the words of "I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go" come to mind, and I'm realizing that like... consecration and real trust in the Lord should come from the fact that we KNOW Him and we love Him, because there is no other way that we'd want to do that :)  I have to realize that what we teach our investigators is TRUE!  I know it's true :)  But... there is a Ph33n khong prapupencaw samrab Sister Croft l3 Jared, l3 Jonathan, and everyone!  (God's plan for Sister Croft... and for Jared and Jonathan and everyone!!!) :) And it's amazing.  I wish I had more to say :)  But the time has gone by fairly fast this week :) and I don't know what else to tell ya!
 
Seete rag khuun mag mag mag mag mag.  I love you a LOT (lot lot lot lot lot!)
 
The gospel is TRUE!!!
 
Sister Croft

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